How To Kill A Mockingjay
by YaoiCrackHead123
Summary: Katniss and Peeta have finally had a few years of calm, only to find they have woken up in an unknown place. Soon they'll find that the Games never truly ended. Not yet. Will they ever get out and be happy? Find out! Much better then it sounds. SPOILERS!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is my first hetero fanfiction. But I just can't imagine these two with anyone but each other. When I wrote this chapter, I'd been thinking of it as a thing with time travel or something but as I went, I realized I had a much MUCH better idea. I knew I wanted so badly to do a fanfic for this book but nothing particularly good came to mind. But this, I honestly think will be pretty awesome. **

**This is pretty much like a continuation of "Mockingjay" only without the epilogue, this is 8 years after the rebel war has ended. Peeta and Katniss are both around 25. **

**Summary: Katniss and Peeta have finally had a few years of calm, only to find they have woken up in an unknown place. Soon they'll find that the Games never truly ended. Not yet. Will they ever get out and be happy? Find out! Much better then it sounds.**

**Not much happens in this chapter and it is rather short but I've already started the 2nd chapter. I completely promise this is going to turn out good**.

**Disclaimer: All characters from the Hunger Games trilogy belong to Suzanne Collins. Some characters will be of my own fabrication.**

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My eyes feel heavy and my head feels like it weighs a ton, when I try to move my arms, I am unable to. It only takes my muddled mind a second to realize my hands have been bound. That is when it hits me. The panic. I began squirming quickly as if that would somehow get me out of my current situation but it only causes the rope to scrape my skin raw. It is so difficult to open my eyes and even when I try I can only see blurred shapes, for a second I think I see a familiar shade of yellow.

I try to open my mouth for the first time and cry out to the shape but my voice comes out as just a scratchy gasp as the name I try so hard to call forms on my lips. I try a few more times but every time it fails. This must be a bad dream... one of those dreams where I try to call a loved ones' name but nothing comes out. I have those dreams often.

Those dreams normally star Prim, just before the bombs explode. I try so hard to warn her, tell her to run, only to wake up screaming as the bombs go off and body parts go flying. Peeta would always come up the stairs to our bedroom then, apologizing for not being there before I went to sleep. I never blamed him for my dreams, he was the only protection I have from the dreams I so want to run from, but I never tell him its not his fault. I just close my eyes while he holds me and I fall in a much more restful sleep.

But this isn't a dream. I won't scream and Peeta won't come to my rescue. I know it deep inside of me but the wish that this whole thing isn't real is so powerful that I just stop moving and urge myself awake. The nightmare doesn't end though.

My heart jumps when I finally hear the sound of foot steps walking down a hallway, the steps sounding so menacing as they echo off the walls. I know those feet are coming towards me and it turns my veins to ice and for a moment I think I've stopped breathing.

The sound of a key entering a lock and the door which seems to be only a few feet away opens and then the door closing. I hadn't realized until just now that someone else had been in the room, watching me. Had my senses really been dulled so much?

The guard that had been sitting by the door stood to meet whom ever came in "Sir!" the man said in a way that only a soldier could.

"how is our little... guest?" the newest occupant asked with such amusement you'd think this was some big joke, but the iciness of the man's voice told me otherwise. But there was something else too. Something that made my breathing come out in short quick pants and in the back of my mind I'm worried I'll hyperventilate.

I want so badly to scream. It isn't the same voice that I remember. There is no way that it is because the owner of that voice is dead. But just the similarity was enough to throw me mind into a full stop and I'm scared. Terrified actually.

The voice chuckles "Seems she has awoken" it says, I can hear the shoes that could only be payed for by someone who lived in the Capitol before the take over had occurred. I can feel the closeness of the strangers body although I wasn't being touched, I can hear the breath just on my face and I think I'm going to retch. Roses... the familiarly sickening sent of roses.

I immediately begin to convulse wildly and I think my wrists have begun to bleed from the shear force. "Give another shot" the voice said as it stood up right, no longer crouched in front of me.

I feel the terrifying presence leave as a new one comes before me. My arm is grabbed roughly to keep me still as I continued to thrash about. I feel the small sting of a needle as it is forced into my vein.

The world goes black and dreamless. Empty in a way that only drugs can cause.

It feels like only seconds before I wake up once more, but when I feel how stiff my body is, I know it has to have been at least a few hours. My eyes are still heavy but I am able to open them almost all the way.

My vision blurs like it had before but my eyes clear after a few moments and I am able to take in my situation fully.

The whole room appears to be made of concrete and have only 2 exits. A door that can only be unlocked with a key and a window with a dark red curtain over it. Only a sliver of what lies behind the curtain shows a pure white hallway that is lit with florescent lights.

My legs and hands have been bound, laying on my side on the cold concrete floor. I note the fact that I was laying in a puddle of what must've been my own filth. It took a lot of concentration not to throw up as well.

My eyes roll, trying to take in all of my surroundings, this causes my head to throb and an involuntary groan to escape my lips. My guard did not move.

I was finally able to take in the soldier's appearance. The man was pretty well built, his head shaved, and his uniform was what I expected the moment I heard that stranger's voice. A peacekeeper...

I hadn't seen a peacekeeper since the rebellion ended. The sight of the uniform brought back horrible memories. Memories of Darius, the peacekeeper who's tongue had been cut out because of me. Gale's whipping. Those Muttations who were so bent on getting me that they ate the heads off of the peacekeepers who had been in pursuit of me.

It took all of my will power not to go into a fit of trembles. The soldier made no move to sedate me again, apparently he didn't have the clearance for that and it was obvious I wasn't going anywhere.

My eyes moved around the rest of the room and I gasped, I knew I hadn't imagined the unconscious boy who was laying only 4 feet away from me on the opposite side of the room.

His blonde hair dirtied from lack of washing and his face has dried blood and dirt on it, but I knew it was him. When I saw the odd angle his nose is now in, I know that is where the blood must've come from.

I just can't seem to remember what happened or how I got here, the sight of the broken nose does trigger a quick memory of Peeta trying to protect me only to be hit in the face with the butt of a Peacekeepers gun. I wince lightly from the memory, the sound of the bone cracking echoing in my mind.

I train my gray eyes on the Peacekeeper and realize he doesn't plan to do anything with me, he knows that even if I were able to get out of my binds, it wouldn't take much to take me down.

I take a deep breathe and begin pushing myself towards the unconscious body, every little shimmy, push, and squirm causes a cry of pain to rise in my throat. The floor smacking roughly against my stiff body, ribs and arms throbbing from the effort.

Every centimeter I get closer, it looks as if Peeta's limp body is getting further and further away. Sweat begins to form under my clothes which I've just realized are a pair of white sweat pants and a white t-shirt which matches my blonde companion. Sweat which has formed on my forehead begins to slide into my eyes, pulling dirt into them and making them burn and water.

I stopped and panted heavily, already feeling weak and dehydrated, I can hear my stomach growling loudly and I know that I've been neglected.

I close my eyes, trying to keep the harmful body fluids from getting into my stinging eyes. I repeatedly tell myself that it would just take a little more and I'd finally reach my goal but this was easier said then done.

I opened my eyes once again and realized after all my work, I wasn't much closer. That was when I decided not to look up until I felt the blonde's body next to mine.

My fight to get just a few feet lasted for 45 minutes. When I finally bumped my head into the blonde's back and felt the familiar warmth, that small touch made me want to break down and cry, just knowing that my mind hadn't just imagined him. I now know for sure I'm not alone.

I squirmed forward a few more inches and buried my face in the back of Peeta's shirt, taking in the warmth. It was so reassuring to know he was alive and beside me, I wished so badly for my hands to be unbound so that I could hold him but that probably wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

I nudged my face against the boy's back, causing Peeta to groan softly. I perked up and tried to squirm up further so that I could at least be at eye level with his deep blue eyes but it proved difficult. "P...Pe.. tah..." I gasped out but it was barely above a whisper.

He squirmed and groaned once again but appeared to be in the same state I had been the first time I'd woken up. I used all my strength to lift my head and bit down roughly on the blonde's side, which was the only skin I could reach. Peeta gasped loudly and seemed to jolt in surprise at the pain. That one bite seemed to be just the thing to get him to fully wake up.

Peeta let out another groan "Katniss...what was the for?..." he said still half awake. By the looks of it, it was only me who had been neglected, because while Peeta's nose was still broken, his voice was clear as if he'd been given water and he seemed at least moderately nourished while I had been ignored.

I watched his face and saw the recognition and shock that crossed his face. "Katniss!" concern now filling his voice as he tried to force his body to face me.

It was much easier for him to move then it had been for me and he used all his strength to flip over so that he was on his back, but he let out a gasp of pain when he placed all of his weight on his tied up hands. His face screwed up in pain as he forced the pain away.

I used my knees to push off Peeta's body lightly so that when he flipped over again to face me, I wouldn't be crushed. We simultaneously squirmed our bodies closer to each other once we were facing one another. Peeta moved down a bit lower so that my head was leveled with the blonde's neck "Katniss... where are we?" he whispered, fear crossing his face.

"I... I think... we're in a new game..." I said hoarsely.

A look of pure horrible pain crossed his face and I watched his eyes dilate then became huge as his mind seemed to go somewhere else. I panicked, leaned forward, and kissed the skin that was closest to me, which was around his throat and chest, I was afraid this wouldn't be enough to get him back to me "d...don't go" I gasped out.

I watched Peeta's eyes come back to me, their deep blue irises filling with tears as soon as he realized what was happening. That once again, we were going to end up in a new Games.

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to suppress the tears but it only caused them to come out faster "I'm sorry Katniss..." he whispered.

It had been years since the last time the effects of the hijacking that the capitol had down as torture by changing his memories of me into something terrifying, but that last time had been so horrible that Peeta had completely shut himself out from the world. We had thought Peeta had completely controlled himself but something seemed to set him off that we couldn't quite place and the next thing I knew Peeta had a knife in his hand and was coming for me. It took Gale and Haymitch restraining him to make him drop the knife, he even had to be tied to a chair before I could finally coax him out of his fierce and hateful behavior and finally subdue.

When Peeta finally came to, shaking and terrified, Gale gave him one rough punch to the face for coming after me. It took a lot of convincing and yelling to get Gale to understand that it wasn't Peeta's fault and that I was still going to stay with him. Peeta hadn't deserved that punch... he ended up punishing himself for such a long time after that, he nearly left me and it took me breaking down for him to stay and realize I still needed him.

The fact that I was able to stop him so quickly means that he is still in control, but of course this isn't the best situation to realize that.

I sighed softly and leaned forward, placing my head under Peeta's chin and softly nuzzled my nose into the blonde's neck. He seemed to have the permanent smell of bread on his skin which I breathed in. Peeta placed his chin against my head and curled his strong body around me. I shivered lightly when I felt Peeta's metal leg touch my bare feet but it felt nice and familiar.

Peeta's body relaxed around me and even in this horrible unfamiliar place, I felt safe.

In my scratchy voice, I told him what I had heard and what was so familiar about the voice. At the mention of Snow's name, I thought I was going to lose him again but I kept him from leaving me. I had a bad feeling that something in this place was going to eventually make him snap before I could stop it.

We sat silently trying to figure out what we were going to do, I stared forward trying to ignore the putrid smell that the both of us were emitting. Peeta was staring at me, I could feel it. I was becoming self conscious. I was filthy, smelled of my own waster, and you could probably count my bones under my shirt.

I heard the guard make an involuntary gagging sound, the smell finally getting to him. He picked up a walky-talky "hey, I need you to talk to the big guy. I don't think I can stand this smell anymore..." he said into the receiver of the machine.

Even with my current state, Peeta stayed close to me, not showing any sort of disgust towards me. Only a look of concern and pain for my state of neglect. Finally he couldn't take it.

"Hey! Can you at least get her some water!" he called to the guard over his shoulder "hey! I know you can hear me!" he called knowing the guard was ignoring him. I peeked over Peeta's shoulder and caught a glimpse of the guard's glaring face. My head fell back down weakly when I saw the Peacekeeper stand with a bottle of water.

Instead of giving me the water he took a swig from the bottle, savoring it. Purposely rubbing it in my face. I didn't want to give in but I could feel my mouth becoming dry and my lips cracking.

The Peacekeeper smirked and swallowed, he held the bottle out as if to give to me, but in one swift movement, the bottle was turned over and the contents dumped out beside my head. I felt the cool clear liquid spreading beside me and touching my hair and the side of my face.

That was what broke me. Ridiculous considering all that happened. But it broke me. The last of the water in my body was spilling out from my eyes. Peeta began thrashing around, screaming in pure anger for my sake, trying to swing his bound legs at the man in white.

There was no look of amusement on our guard's face "My 8 year old daughter was in that group of kids that you _rebels_ blew up" he growled between gritted teeth.

My eyes widened in shock, I began to think of all those kids that had been killed. All the parents who had been dealing with the pain for all these years. It had been 8 years since that incident, but to think there were parents who were still so angry... angry at me... at what I'd caused. My body began to shake with the sobs ripping through my painfully tight throat. I couldn't help wondering if with age I've become weaker. I'm only twenty-five years old but I know I would never have shown this side of me to anyone other than Peeta.

But here I was, in front of a total stranger, crying my eyes out. I wanted so badly to tell him that he wasn't alone, that my dear sweet Primrose had died in the explosion, trying to save those kids or that I'd been the one who shot and killed Coin. But I knew that wouldn't be enough. Never be enough. So I didn't speak.

Peeta continued thrashing but eventually used up his energy and finally slumped back against me, panting heavily. The anger evident on his face. A few seconds later 2 guards came in, one female and one male. They seemed really annoyed at having to deal with us. I had a pretty good idea of what was going to happen next.

The woman grabbed me roughly by the back of the shirt and pulled me up into a sitting position before dragging me towards the door, Peeta cried out after me "KATNISS!" he yelled but I heard a rough smack which echoed off the walls as the blonde exited my field of vision. I opened my parched lips, trying to call after him but my raw throat and dry mouth wouldn't allowed anything to come out. I didn't even fight it as I was dragged away. I watched the filth from my body rub off on the pure white floor and knew someone would have to wipe it up. It gave me a childish satisfaction to know that someone had to take time out of their schedule to clean up my mess.

The female Peacekeeper opened a door which slid open when she her key card through a slot. It opened up to what looked like a large shared bathroom where I guessed the Peacekeepers came to shower and wash up. I was dragged in past about 6 sinks. I was pulled into a large semi-circle that was covered in pure white tiles, metal shower heads which were evenly spaced out followed along the top of the semi-circle.

The Peacekeeper all but threw me onto the pure white tiles, I landed roughly on my side and watched her. The white uniformed woman walked over to an electronic panel and taped on a touch screen. I cried out in pain when scolding hot water erupted from the 5 shower heads beside me. I closed my eyes tightly trying to endure the pain, hoping it wasn't hot enough to leave blisters.

I could feel my clothes become heavy as they soaked up the water, I concentrated on the filth and urine that washed off of me as it went down the drain, hoping that would keep my mind off the pain.

I took in a deep breathe, closed my eyes, turned my face up towards the water, and opened my mouth. I felt the heat burn my tongue and throat but I could also feel the much needed water give my body new life.

The Peacekeeper was shocked, I knew that. But I was a survivor and I've done much worse to live.

The Peacekeeper smacked the buttons, turning off my water supply in annoyance, my hair was now stuck to my face and I could feel my wrists burning as the hot water settled on the raw wounded skin.

She once again grabbed me by the back of the shirt and pulled me towards the room I'd come from, I looked forward at the hall. I took in the details and saw that it looked as if white was in all directions. The only thing that kept me from believing it was all just white walls was the very slightly outline of nearly invisible doors and the keep slots that had been installed just next to them.

The survivor in me relentlessly told me that "we would get out of this."

We would get out of this... We would get out of this...

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**I honestly wanted to keep this chapter going but I felt that was a good way to end it. I already have the 2nd chapter started. Please review and favorite and cheer me on! I would really like to actually finish this story. So far, this is the first Katniss x Peeta I have seen like mine and I'd say it is a pretty good idea. I'm not normally so confident but I've never had an idea like this before! so please be sure to review :)**


	2. QUESTION!

Okay, this is not a chapter. I swear I am almost done with the 2nd one. I hope more people come and read. But please for those of you who are watching my story and plan to continue reading, I would like your help. Just a quick comment will do.

I want to know how you feel about my format? I mean the way the words are set up. Are the words too close together? Too hard to concentrate? Should I change the format and if so, how do you think you would find it easier to read? Aligned in the middle? A space between every sentence rather then every paragraph?

Give me feedback!

And I re-read my 1st chapter a few times yesterday and caught a few mistakes or things I just didn't like the way they were written. I might tweak it but thats more for people who might read it in the future. I hope you stick to it! I think my idea is pretty interesting and worth it! hopefully I can get it down on paper properly so that my ideas get across to you in a way that is interesting :)


	3. Chapter 2

**Finished chapter 2! It was originally much shorter but I decided I was going to just put these two chapters together. Good thing too. **

**So hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters from the book the Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins, some belong to me.**

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The female Peacekeeper continued treating me as if I were just a bag of potatoes, she tossed me on to the now clean floor. Apparently someone had come in and washed the floor off while we'd been gone. I saw that Peeta was nowhere in sight and panic immediately shot through me.

I reassured myself that they were just cleaning him off as they had me.

The water on my skin that had once been scolding hot turned freezing as I laid in the cold air, I curled up in a tight ball and could already feel myself shivering beneath my soaking wet clothes.

I peeked through my heavy eyelids, watching as they dragged the still unconscious Peeta into the room. I wasn't surprised to see that he was freshly washed as I had been only his clothes were dry and new. It was obvious he was getting better treatment. But I didn't mind that. In fact I preferred it over both of us being treated the badly. After all, I had been the one who dragged Peeta into this whole mess.

Peeta was tossed in beside me and hit me roughly, all of his body weight thrown against me. I grunted in pain but welcomed the warmth. I closed my eyes tightly trying to force the pain away. I squirmed out from under the blonde's body and slumped against the floor beside him from the effort. When I gathered my wits, I looked over my companion's head, looking for any signs of blood but relaxed when his light hair showed no sign of bleeding.

I closed my eyes, head on his shoulder and allowed sleep to take me. Blurry nightmares plagued me.

The most prominent of them started with me, sitting in the snow, stark naked and freezing. I looked up to find Gale, Peeta, Prim, and Rue staring down at me, completely unaffected by the impending weather. I opened my mouth and called for them to help me, the cry hitched in my throat at the sight of Snow standing behind them, Coin standing beside him. Different faces whos lives I'd destroyed. Finnick, Annie and her son, Cinna, the faces of Cato's family, Peeta's family, even the newest additions to the lives I'd destroyed, the Peacekeeper whos daughter got caught in Coin's blast. Buckets of water seemed to materialize from nowhere in each of their hands as they dumped the water on my freezing body. Frost Bite began to set in and pieces of myself would fall off, but I never fought it...

This dream wasn't odd, it was very similar to the dream where I'm being buried by all the people who died for me. But there was a different. The cold wasn't just in my mind.

Opened my eyes, everything seemed blurry and somewhere far away I could hear Peeta's voice calling my name. I noted that my skin was an odd shade of blue.

This didn't alarm me like it should have though, it was just an observation, as if it wasn't my skin that I was looking at. Somewhere in my mind I wondered what color my lips were just out of curiosity.

My eyes were finally beginning to focus and I realized Peeta wasn't far away, in fact he was in the same place he'd been when I'd fallen asleep. Now he was yelling, I could only hear my name but I think he was yelling other things over his shoulder at the Peacekeeper.

I wanted to open my mouth but my lips didn't part. "Peeta... Whats going on?" But I just couldn't get the question to him. I looked over at the Peacekeeper and realized he was panicking but nothing he said seemed to reach my ears but he was yelling into his walky-talky, that much I knew. I looked at Peeta once again for clearance as to why everyone was in such a fuss.

I felt my eyes becoming heavy once again and the world rolling around me, but before the darkness could take me, Peeta brought his legs back and roughly kicked me as hard as he could and continued to call my name. "Leave me alone, let me sleep" I wanted to say but it only came out as a small groan.

I watched Peeta's form through foggy eyes, he pushed his body forward and placed his cheek against my cheek gently. It felt so warm... So warm.

It hit me slowly... But it did hit me. I was numb... And it was Peeta's warmth that made me realize that I wasn't only numb, I was freezing. So freezing my nerves weren't reacting to the cold. The nightmare I'd just had surfaced once more and I began to panic although my body didn't show it. I was panicking. Scared that my body was already frost bitten and crumbling as it had in my dream.

Strong arms picked me up, rather then dragged me. They even undid my binds. I could hear my stiff bones cracking as they moved from their uncomfortable position. While the noise didn't sit right in my ears, I couldn't help feeling relief.

My head slumped backward on the arm of whom ever was holding me and I was able to see Peeta's lips as they called my name, I saw the Peacekeeper coming up behind him, needle in hand. I wanted to warn him, but my lips had not thawed. My hand weakly reached out towards him, vision blurring. The last thing I remember seeing was a blurry outline of Peeta's body slumping over as he was injected with the drug.

My hand fell limply and darkness took over once more.

I woke up wrapped in layer upon layer of blankets to the point where it felt as if my whole body was wrapped in some strange kind of cocoon. But a butterfly wouldn't emerge when the shell finally broke open.

I was shivering but it wasn't like how it had been. I looked down and found that my right arm was the only thing not concealed in the tight warm layers of blankets. I stared at the familiar tubes sticking out of my arm.

My fear of frost bite quickly returned and I rapidly removed the blankets that tangled around my body. I looked over my hands and legs looking for any signs of falling apart.

Relief washed over me when I did not catch sight of any darkish blue skin that indicated frost bite. I knew well what frost bite looked like. During the winter, before the rebellion, countless people would be placed on our kitchen table as my mother and Prim tried to save their dying body parts.

I leaned back against my pillow, an improvement to the concrete floor I'd been laying on just a few hours before. Or maybe it was days ago. It was always difficult to tell when your sleep is drug induced.

Peeta... Where was Peeta? It was hard for me to be too worried about him, considering he appeared to be the "favorite" in this place.

I looked around the room, it was like the hallway. Completely white, I sat wondering if the walls and floors where made of white plastic. I looked at each corner of the room.

I knew they were watching me. Filming me. I wouldn't be surprised if images of me curled up in my own filth or freezing were all over Panem by now. Thats how it always was. Always just a tool.

A tool to spark hope, to spark fear. A piece in everyone's little game of chess.

I wonder when I will win. But then again, you can't win when you've already lost and the moment I spared Peeta and took out those berries, I'd already lost the match.

I sighed and could already guess at the things that would happen next. Dress me up and parade me around, that was the Capitol's style. Even now.

I lifted my shirt and looked over my body. I wasn't as malnourished as I had been, but that was mostly likely just to keep me alive. But just enough to keep me alive.

I stood up and fell to my knees the moment my weight sat on my legs, I grunted in pain and stared at the pure white floor, trying to catch my bearings. My shivering had gone away but a new shiver slid through me when the cool air ran through the very thin fabric of my hospital gown.

A moment later the door opened and someone sang my name out "Katniss~", my blood ran cold. The voice stopped mid tone "my dear where did you go?" It asked. Trembles rocked my body. "ah there you are." The voice said, amusement lacing its tone.

I continued staring down at the floor and saw the tips of black designer shoes that could only belong to the man I'd heard. I wanted to look up at my captor, spit in his face, and show I wasn't afraid.

But I didn't and I was.

I just kept staring at my hands which still had the slightest shade of blue to them. "Now now, its not very ladylike to be on the floor like that." He said and snapped his fingers. The black tips backed away, My head turned towards them, my eyes trained on the engraving of a white rose on the sides.

Even when I was lifted up like a rag doll by two pairs of strong hands, I kept my eyes trained on those little white flowers.

The shoes began pacing back and forth as the chilling voice spoke. "you know, you have been quite the hassle" he said with the smallest bit of amusement in his voice "Heart stopped twice you know, but we can't have you dying just yet."

I watched the shoes face towards me, and I could feel the eyes boring down on me but I didn't look up.

"You know its very rude not to look at the people who is talking to you" he said angrily, grabbing me by the chin and forced my face up towards him.

I felt my breathe leave my body when I saw familiar beady black eyes.

I took in the man's appearance.

His hair was moderately long and slicked back, it was black with random streaks of gray that made him seem older than he probably was. But it also gave him a mature and slightly attractive look. But his cold unfeeling eyes only made me shiver with horror and that smell. The sickeningly sweet smell of what could only be artificially made roses.

The man gave a dark chuckle "by the look of fear on your face I can tell you've probably figured out who I am" he said loosening his grip on my chin but didn't release me "or at least found some connection from your past."

He slid his hand down from my chin, sliding his fingers along my neck in a way that made my skin crawl. "Boys... move her to her new room" he said and just like that he turned his back on me and walked away.

I had no idea but I was almost certain horror was written all over my face. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and stood on shaky legs, feeling as if the white walls all around me were going to just swallow me up.

I needed to get out of here before I throw up whatever was in my stomach.

I felt myself once again stumble on my feet and smack against the wall and nearly knock over equipment. In one swift movement, a needle was shoved in my arm and I fell into the arms of the unoccupied Peacekeeper. And darkness ate up the white.

I've become pretty sick of waking up in unfamiliar places and I'm sick of the bruises that have formed from being gabbed in the arm. It hasn't gotten to the point where I think if they just asked, I'd follow willingly.

I suppose this is an improvement though.

The next time I opened my eyes, I found myself in a room almost as nice as the one I'd stayed in at the Capitol for the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell. The decor was surprisingly colorful compared to the pure white walls I'd seen. Bright orange curtains lined what I could only assume was a "fake" window which only had virtually made environments installed into it. The bed's comforters, sheets, and pillows were a dark shade of red that I would have quite liked if it weren't for who had probably picked them out. The walls were a shade of hunter green that I'd always loved, but now the shade might have been ruined for me because of this place.

There was one bathroom and a door that I had to assume lead to a larger living area. Capitol always had to show their "guests" just how rich they were. Everything was high tech, from the window to the wardrobe which appeared to have an assortment of clothes already in it.

The next thing I noticed that made waking up better was, I didn't wake up alone.

I felt strong warm familiar arms wrapped all around me. I didn't even realize that I wasn't home until I finally allowed my eyes to open and let reality set in.

I sighed and buried my face deeply into Peeta's chest, taking in the clean scent. The dank smell that had attached to our skin earlier was now gone from his body and replaced by apple scented shampoo and bread. I knew I should've been thinking of an escape plan. Some way to contact Plutarch and Haymitch to somehow find us, but at that moment I wanted to pretend nothing was real for just a little while longer.

I stayed awake for a while, just staring at Peeta's chest, silently drawing circles in the pure white fabric with my fingers lightly. I looked over the blonde's face and noted the dark circles and his current state of deep sleep. I got the feeling that this was not the cause of drugs but of staying up for far longer than his body could take.

I slid my hand up to his cheek and ran my thumb along the dark circle just under his right eye, his eye lids tightened together slightly and his left eye opened up just enough that I could see a sliver of deep blue. He reached up and took my wrist with the arm that I wasn't laying on top of, I looked up at him curiously as he pulled my hand away from his face slowly, I didn't fight him.

He placed the back of my hand against his lips, I could feel the tip of his nose against my knuckles which seemed to cause air to fill my body to the brim and I thought I might float away. It was a strange lightness, but it was welcomed.

Peeta's eyes finally slid open to completely look at me, my hand not moving from its place against his lips. His eyes looked over every detail in my face and changed in such a heartbreaking way I wish I could destroy whom ever caused him the pain.

But I knew it was me whom had caused him this pain.

"You... died" he whispered gripping my wrist tighter, I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but I was still weak and fragile from my mistreatment and I knew it would leave a bruise but I showed no expression that I even felt.

He pushed my hand open with his nose before nuzzling into the palm of my hand, still clutching my wrist.

"I heard it..." he chocked, voice breaking as he described my 'almost' death "I hadn't gone under yet and you... they were scrambling around... I concentrated so hard on the beeping on your monitor... it was the only thing that let me know that you were alive. And when it went flat I just... I just... didn't know what to do... I think I snapped. Broke the restraints with brute force, I think I punched a few Peacekeepers..."

Peeta took in a deep breathe, trying to calm his nerves. I hadn't noticed the deep marks on Peeta's wrists, I was surprised that his wrists hadn't snapped from his rage fueled act.

"And I just..." he went on, I slid my hand over and placed my palm against his cheek and moved my body in as close as I could to his "Shhh, I'm okay now... its okay..." I whispered in a way I never thought I could.

I placed my free hand on the back of Peeta's head and guided his head to my chest and placed my chin on his smooth blonde locks. I wrapped my arms around his head and held him to me, his strong arms wrapped around my small waist and held me closely.

It was uncomfortable really, Peeta really didn't know his own strength sometimes but I didn't fight him. I ran my fingers through his hair and buried my nose into the apple scent, taking it in deeply.

This was... odd to say the least. Even though Peeta was the one who had his heart on his sleeve, I was always the one being comforted. This was why I fell for Peeta, he was the only one who could put out my flame but I guess the thought that this could be our last days together brought out a new side in me.

Water was seeping into the thin fabric of my shirt, it would hit my skin warm and quickly turn cold.

We laid still like that for what felt like an eternity, but when it was finally broken, I felt that it hadn't lasted long enough.

"Peeta... We have to get out of here."

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**So, hope you enjoyed and I would REALLY appreciate reviews! I know I'm becoming more and more unconvincing that this will be very interesting but I still promise. It will be. Awesomeness with arrive in the future.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Okay, I have NO IDEA why this took me so long! I knew I wanted certain ideas to be in here but I had to connect them which caused a major road block in my brain lol, but I think I have a much clearer idea of what I want to do. I knew what I wanted to do before but now there is a part that has been added to the story (that isn't in the story yet) that I think will make the story more interesting hopefully. :) I hope my writers block hasn't deterred any readers! **

**I hadn't even realized this chapter was longer then the rest of my chapters lol. **

_**Also question: do people find it annoying when chapters are kind of long? I don't like super short chapters like I've seen before, it just seems unprofessional... How do you feel about it? This could be informative!**_

**Disclaimer: All of the characters from the Hunger Games books belong to Suzanne Collins, the extras are of my own making. **

**_P.S. Should my chapters have titles? If so, why not help me out and shoot my some ideas ;)_  
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We sat across from one another, eating our glamorous food in silence. The sound of forks scraping the bottom of our plates echoed loudly in the silence. I ate slowly, a tremble in my hand making it difficult. I think it had come from all the drugs I've had in such a short amount of time as well as my two "deaths."

I scooped up some food from plate and brought it slowly to my mouth. The trembling in my hand became particularly strong and by the time the spoon had reached my lips most of the food had fallen back to the plate from where it had come from, Peeta couldn't take it. He slammed his fork down, the sound making me jump visibly.

I stared at him as if he had two heads, he grabbed the back of his chair and dragged it right beside me and sat down so closely his knee was pushed up against mine. He grabbed the spoon from my hand and scooped up the food on my plate, he cupped his hand under the spoon so as not to drop any, and put it at my lips, waiting for me to open up. I frowned and creased my brows uncertainly but Peeta just stared at me expectantly. I sighed and gave in allowing him to feed me.

I eventually had to make him stop because he was stuffing me full, he actually started feeding me his food as well. I covered my mouth when he tried to force the food into my mouth. "What are you doing?" I asked in annoyance, my voice muffled by my hand and smacked the fork away.

"You need to gain more weight, you won't have enough strength to get through this if you can't even keep a spoon steady" he said, slight anger in his voice. I knew the anger came from concern but that didn't mean it didn't spark a flame in me.

"Well you are going to make me throw it all up if you keep stuffing me like a pig!" I spit back and stood from my chair, using all my will power for my knees not to buckle under my weight like I thought they might. Peeta didn't stand, he glared up at me from the chair and slammed the fork down on the table once more only this time it bounced off the wood and on to the floor. "Katniss do you understand how serious this whole thing is!" he yelled slamming his fist on the table and stood, towering over me, but I felt no fear even though Peeta was much larger and strong than me. "You DIED!" he yelled grabbing me by the shoulders roughly.

I turned my face away from him and muttered "twice..." he stared at me, a look of confusion replacing anger "what did you say?" he asked trying to be sure of what he had heard was correct.

"I said TWICE! My heart stopped TWICE!" I growled angrily, pushing my face towards him in anger. I regretted it almost immediately. He looked completely dumbstruck to know that my life had been so close to ending and he hadn't been there to try to stop it.

He slumped down into his chair once more, his hands sliding down my shoulders to my elbows, he stared at the floor and didn't speak. I let out a sigh and opened my mouth to speak but was cut off by a noise to my right. We both turned our heads towards what had seemingly been an empty wall. But we watched in shock as two panels opened up and revealed a TV that was embedded into the wall. The television turned on by itself and turned to a specific channel. Panem National news.

Peeta's head perked up higher as he watched, while I made absolutely no move whatsoever. I just stared at the screen silently.

Caesar Flickerman's smiling face appeared, he sat behind a light blue polished desk and a fake background of a star dotted night sky.

I was the one who spoke up for Caesar after the rebellion, I convinced them that Caesar had no part in the Capitol other then being a pretty face and that he may seem strange but he was good at getting an audience to feel a certain way which we could need in the future.

He shuffled a few papers in his hands and looked up into the camera lens, his bright smile turning to an expression of gloom "As most of Panem knows, our dear Mockingjay, Katniss everdeen, and her boa Peeta Mellark are still missing. It has already been 2 weeks since their home was discovered empty with signs of a struggle" he said in such a serious way I felt worried for the lives of those two missing people even though it was us that he was talking about. Two images appeared beside Caesar's bright purple head, recent pictures of Peeta and I. Had it really been 2 weeks already?

We didn't take pictures often but Haymitch made a rule that Peeta and I HAD to take a new picture every two years for an occasion such as this. I didn't understand that though because I have yet to meet a person that didn't already know more about me then I did, before I even got a chance to catch their name.

Caesar continued "A search Party is still scouring all over for the two lovers but there have been no leads" He admitted "President Paylor has something to say about their disappearance" he said and turned in his chair to look at a screen that appeared on the starry sky, the camera zoomed in and Paylor's face took up the screen as she spoke sternly but calmly. "I have heard of panic and fear that Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark were kidnapped by a group of terrorists, it is not believed that any hidden Capitol rebels exist. We believe that-" the screen flickered between the image of Paylor and an image that was difficult to fully comprehend. When the new image finally completely took over, it was obvious what it was.

An image of a Mockingjay lying dead on a dark gray floor. The oddest sense of impending doom filled me. That this was not just an image to strike fear into the people of Panem but to give me a message, "this is your future." I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to calm my nerves.

I felt Peeta's fingers release my skin and I watched his back as he slumped on to the couch in front of the television, leaning forward on his knees and watching the screen closely. I didn't know when it happened, but my legs had moved on their own until I was in front of the couch and slumped to my knees on the floor, just beside the seat. I watched closely as the dead Mockingjay spontaneously combusted, its ashes then blew into the lens and the screen went black. A new image appeared, of a man I didn't recognize dressed in a fine suit, his hair was a deep shade of orange and slicked back, he began to speak, arms behind his back.

"People of Panem, I'm sure you've been rather keen on finding out what has happened to your dear symbol of 'justice' and 'truth', your precious little bird on fire, leading light through the dark" he said putting quotations on "truth" and "justice" with his fingers "Well as for the well being of your precious bird, your questions have been answered" he said with such an evil smirk that sent fear into me, fear for what they would show. Flames ate up his image and a new image was shown. I thought my heart was going to stop.

An image of myself in gray-scale, overly skinny and sitting in my own filth on the floor, it was a video before I'd woken up for I'd woken up in that dark chamber. I could see myself finally coming to, it cut to an image of me trying to drag myself towards Peeta, it then cut to Peeta screaming after me as I was dragged away for my "shower" and Peeta being rammed over the head with the Peacekeepers gun. I felt the couch shift slightly as he flinched from the memory.

The image was being cut off, flashes of Caesar's purple hair came and went rapidly but in the end, our captors kept control. It was me and Peeta, laying on the floor once more, only I was shivering and shaking against Peeta, still unconscious. I watched Peeta becoming aware of the shaking beside him, he looked over at me and immediately went into a frenzy, yelling at the guard about what was happening to my body. I could tell my skin wasn't its proper color even with the gray-scale. In just a few seconds I was waking up, Peeta continued yelling in my face just as I had remembered and I listened to the guard yelling into his walky-talky about the odd color of my skin and the shivering. I watched the whole scene play out, it all seemed surreal. like I hadn't been there when it happened, now that my mind was clear it I couldn't help wondering why I hadn't been more alarmed about my situation at the time.

I was carried away from Peeta, now unconscious. It cut to a split screen. On the left was an image of me lying in a bed, my monitor beeping rapidly as the doctors tried to save me. On the right, An image of Peeta in a room near by, eyes closed tightly, most likely concentrating on the beeping, and mumbling something to himself.

I couldn't help letting out a gasp as I watched my own 'death'. The monitor let out a loud long beep as my heart stopped. Doctors began CPR and finally brought out a defibrillator and began their attempts to start my heart again. But I wasn't watching my side anymore, I was watching Peeta's.

The way his eyes snapped open wide at the sound of the long beep. The sound of my body jerking as I was jolted with electricity came out of the television in an odd sort of echo, indicating that Peeta could hear what was happening from where ever he was and he finally snapped. He began jerking around and pulling at his restraints, screaming at the top of his lungs as he pulled his arms apart. With a loud snap the restraints on his arms broke, he reached for the rope around his angles and ripped it off in one fluid motion, Peacekeepers were coming for him. He stood quickly and fueled on pure anger and despair, he threw his fists into the first person who came at him. The Peacekeeper fell with a thud and didn't get up, Peeta continued screaming like an animal all the while. He turned to his next Opponent and got in another good punch but this time he didn't go down. Two Peacekeepers were able to get a hold of his arms and the Peacekeeper that hadn't been knocked out after the punch now stood with needle in hand and stabbed it into the blonde's neck and pushed the plunger.

For a few fighting seconds, Peeta stayed awake, eyes glaring at the Peacekeeper as angry tears poured from his eyes. He finally slumped in the Peacekeepers arms and passed out. I couldn't help looking over at the real Peeta who was clutching the couch cushion so tightly his knuckles went white, eyes still fixed on the screen. I reached over and forced his fingers from the couch. We fumbled to lock our fingers together tightly for a few moments as we continued watching the screen, watching what we'd done when controlled by drugs, emotions, and sickness.

The next image was again of me lying in bed, all seemed peaceful when suddenly my body began to jerk and my eyelids were open but only the white of my eyes could be seen, my back arched off the bed. I felt Peeta's grip tighten and he grabbed our intertwined fingers with his other hand, trying to convince himself that I wasn't dead and I was still alive and next to him. I could hear his breathe coming out in quick pants but I wasn't thinking about him now. I was thinking only of myself and how terrifying it was to watch myself dying this way.

Doctors came rushing in almost immediately, a ball of cotton was placed in my mouth and I now knew that I had had a seizure. The ball was to keep me from biting my tongue, I'd seen my mother do this to a man once before. I ran away that day... But I couldn't run away from this. I had to watch. They knew that. That is why they played it for us in the first place. My rapidly beeping heart monitor was quickening even more as my body continued convulsing on the bed. And just like that, I stopped moving. My head was back, mouth open with drool sliding down my lip and eyes rolled back. The loud long beep seemed to fill my ears in a way that it hadn't the first time. I thought they'd show my revival. They didn't.

They cut away back to the now horror stricken Caesar. Tears were streaming down the cheeks of the normally composed host. Apparently someone behind the camera indicated that they were back on the air. He looked into camera and involuntarily wiped his eyes onto his sleeves, only to spread his dark purple eyeliner onto his face, making him look like an oddly colored raccoon. Caesar took in a deep shaky breathe and looked straight into the camera again to speak.

"Um c...citizens of Panem, that video was not of our control..." He said, voice uncomfortable and broken "i...it appears Katniss Everdeen... Has d...died" his voice chocked on the word "died". He covered his mouth and he broke down right there, live, for all of Panem to see.

I didn't mourn my own death even though some part of me told me I should. The thoughts that came to mind were not what I expected. I wasn't surprised that my captors would pick the ugliest way for me to die in the eyes of the citizen of Panem. Instead, I imagined what Caesar would look like as a raccoon, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I almost laughed at the image of a grinning purple raccoon that appeared in my mind's eye. But I kept it to myself.

Caesar had other stories to share to Panem, I'm sure, but when he opened his mouth, only a chocked noise would come out. They cut away from him to images all over Panem. The squares of the different districts full of people who had stopped to watch the broadcast, all standing together and sobbing. Total strangers hugging one another as they expressed their sorrows my gruesome death.

I covered my mouth, jaw dropping, when I spotted Gale in district 2 completely dumbstruck and unsure of what to do next except stare at the palms of his hands as if they would tell him what to do next. They showed every district in order. I didn't catch sight of my mother in the Capitol but I was sure she knew and was going into a catatonic state. I did not see Haymitch but I did catch sight of Greasy Sae and even Darius crying in the square among the other occupants.

I don't know why it took me by such surprise to see everyone crying for me the way they were. It had been 8 years since I was the Mockingjay, children who hadn't even been born until after the rebellion were crying for me. I didn't understand any of this.

How I was feeling to all of this. How I thought I SHOULD be feeling. What was going to happen now that my captor's had made Panem believe I was dead. And how this would effect Panem after the sadness set in and the anger stage came over them.

I could hear Peeta sobbing beside me but I just couldn't bring myself to look at him. I could still feel his tight hold on my hand and one particularly heart wrenching sob caused me to look up at him finally. I kind of wish I hadn't.

My hand was virtually gone, hidden under his two larger hands. He was curled up tightly, his forehead against his knuckle as he continued sobbing. I wanted so badly to be how I had been when I'd woken up in his arms, but I just couldn't.

I leaned back against the couch and slid lightly to the side, my cheek resting against Peeta's leg as he cried and held my hand.

The TV finally turned away from the sobbing people and something about technical difficulties appeared, but I knew it was because Caesar was not ready to face the cameras again. The weather for the capitol came up. Our tv turned off after a few seconds.

Peeta eventually reassured himself enough to finally convince his mind that I wasn't dead, that I was there, next to him and breathing. I said nothing through out his sobbing, just allowed him to squeeze the life out of my hand. When he finally gave my hand back to me, it felt hot and clammy and a bit numb from having the circulation cut off. Peeta sniffed and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt, he took the edge of his shirt and gently wiped my palm as I poked my hand to try to regain feeling "s...sorry..." He sniffled. I couldn't help feeling a small smile tug at the corner of my lip.

"I think my legs have gone numb too..." I mumbled looking down my legs and giving them a poke and couldn't feel the jab like I should've. Peeta didn't even give a second thought, he scooped me up by putting his arms under my armpits and placed me onto the couch. I bit my lip and thought about how easily Peeta had picked me up, Peeta was strong but even in his weakened state he was able to lift me like a piece of paper. That just didn't sit well.

I felt over my ribs through my shirt and sighed when I could feel every one of them. Peeta had been right. I need to gain weight or any escape plan we came up with would be ruined because someone could snap me in half so easily in the state I was in.

Gaining weight wasn't difficult really, everyday Breakfast, lunch, and dinner would appear on our table when we weren't looking. I got the feeling our captors agreed on our plan to fatten me up but for a whole other reason I'm sure.

During the day Peeta and I did nothing but eat, exercise, and watch updates on my "death" and the search for Peeta. No one ever disturbed us. Videos of my "passing", videos for grieving over me, and interviews with people I knew, were all over the news but I never turned off the television no matter how much Peeta begged me.

Exercise was a complicated task all on its own. We had no weights to lift or space to run and when we did find certain things we could do in the small but extravagant living space, my body would reject any movement I made. It was nerve raking. I knew in my bones that whatever they were planning to do with us would happen soon and I needed my strength. My body just wouldn't allow it.

Simple push ups would make my arms shake under my weight and my elbows have even locked up when my arms became perpendicular to the floor. Peeta had to stop whatever it was he was doing to help me up. It became easier though once I'd reached about 110 pounds, my legs were no longer shaky and I could run around the room quite awhile before eventually becoming tired. My arms were not so easy, but I suppose if I had to choose which one I'd rather have functioning more, it would be my legs.

When I over exerted myself, I was often _**demanded**_ by Peeta to take a break. I got the feeling this wasn't just for my sake. While resting, Peeta would pick me up and use me as a weight while I flipped through channels. This would probably seem funny to outsiders. Even I thought he was joking the first time he asked, but he was very serious about it. It was kind of a motivation for me as well to eat and work more, the more weight I gained, the stronger Peeta would get.

I know our routine was necessary but having the same constant routine was driving me mad. I missed my bow and my forest and our house and I even missed Haymitch! I thought I was going to go crazy, the only thing that kept me sane was the nights.

Peeta and I would sit in our bed, sitting in the silence until finally I would begin to sing. Peeta wouldn't say anything, wouldn't tell me when to start or interrupt or tell me that it was nice. He'd just sit and wait for the next song, if it didn't come we'd continue to just hold one another. I didn't sleep often even when Peeta said I needed rest or my body would never recover, I'd just stay in his arms and think or sometimes I didn't think of anything at all and would just stare at one point in the distance for hours. When I did sleep, I'd dream of a Mockingjay roasted on a spit, it didn't have my face or anything like that, but I knew it was me on that spit.

I'd wake up, not particularly scared like I would be from other nightmares, but I'd still hold Peeta just a little closer then normal.

Panem was not doing well, I never thought I'd have an effect on the public the way I've had. People were scared, questioning Paylor's authority and why no one found Peeta or my 'murderers'. I don't think it was only revenge for me that they were worried about, but the fact that I was supposedly so 'unkillable' and was able to be easily captured and 'killed' in such a short amount of time and without much resistance, I think terrified them to their core. As the people became more upset, I knew the nearer I was going to be 'used' again. Who knows what for.

Finally, someone came for us. At least I thought it was for 'us'. It wasn't. They came only for me. This time they didn't try to stick a needle in me or even force me, they just put a pair of handcuffs on me and took my arms and led me away. Peeta immediately went into protective mode but I gave him one look and he stayed put and didn't make a fuss.

I was lead to an elevator, I stared at the buttons and was surprised to see that there were 30 floors. I tried to imagine just how large this place was and wondered how it was possible that it could have been completely overlooked. I wondered if we were underground, my ears felt heavy and full like they would if I were but I didn't feel as suffocated and it just seemed too predictable. If it is underground it should be pretty easy to find considering most people knew the signs of a secret underground civilization because of experience with District 13.

It confused me and I decided to just clear my mind and get to where ever it is I was being taken.

We were on one of the higher floors, 13 or 14 I think, I could feel my ears become even stuffier, but I'd already resolved myself to keep my mind clear and that is what I did.

The two peacekeepers and I stood before a door that was just as white as the others were but had one major identifying mark, other then the room number beside it, was a happy face sticker that someone had slapped onto the door. I stared off with the innocent smile that seemed so menacing to me while the guards dealt with the key slot. I felt a small shock as the door flew upwards, my staring contest with the sticker ending abruptly.

I was laid down on a metal table and had my arms and legs strapped to the table for good measure, but they weren't as tight as they had been, I didn't fight them. I looked around the room out of curiosity, not particularly worried. That is, until I spotted something that made me cringe. A variety of shampoos, dyes, and instruments for 'priming' and 'prepping'. They were a form of torture of a very different nature, but torture none the less. The door opened once again and some optimistic part of me hoped that it was my quirky make-up team from so long ago, but I was disappointed.

2 people appeared, 1 man and 1 woman. They weren't as colorful or 'odd looking' as most Capitol people but that was most likely from low supplies of hair and body dye. They still had certain distinctive factors that could still classify them as Capitol people. Unnaturally large lips, oddly placed and colorful tattoos, the female had even let her hair grow out so that her brown roots showed while strips of hair at the tips were still faded shades of purple.

The both of them immediately went to work, spraying me with cold water to wash away any dirt or sweat from the day, I winched from the sting of the water smacking my skin. They then went to work on removing all the hair from my body, quite ruthlessly actually. The woman seemed to be enjoying my pain while the man would winch every time I cried out. Maybe not everyone wanted to hurt me as bad as they led on. I heard the man whisper "be careful, if you peel skin off in the wrong place, she could get an infection" he mumbled, she nodded and grumbled but her technique became gentle enough that I'd only need to grit my teeth and bear it.

My hair was scrubbed with chemicals that burned my scalp and a disgusting tasting gunk was slathered on my teeth, I gagged lightly but kept down my lunch. I pushed my tongue to the roof of my mouth to keep the gunk from falling on my taste buds or into the back of my throat. My teeth were scrubbed roughly with a brush, they squirted water down my throat which I nearly chocked on but spit out before it went down the wrong way. I could only imagine how pure white my teeth probably were at that moment.

It was on to make up, they were forced to be gentle with me or the make up would come out wrong. A shade of light purple was put on my lips and eye lids, they put an outline of gold eyeliner along the edge of my top eyelid. I had the feeling this was suppose to be some sort reminder of Cinna that was meant to effect me. It did, but I would not cry because these people any more. They finished doing up my hair in a simple bun on the top of my head with one strip of hair that had been braided and tucked into my hair so that it stayed in place against my head. My arms and legs were unstrapped and I stepped into my dress.

It was beautiful, but nothing compared to one of Cinna's designs. It was strapless and a bit tight fitting but in a way that complimented the new weight I'd gained, I wonder how they got the fit so correct when they hadn't measured me... I stood before a long mirror to get a look at myself. It wasn't like my opinion mattered but I think my 'make up crew' was curious to see if I would be happy about my appearance, purely out of pride for their work.

The dress was a deep sea blue which slowly faded into a lighter sky blue as it reached the end of my skirt, the skirt surrounded my feet and it looked as if the ocean itself had just wrapped around my body. I couldn't help thinking that Cinna could've done it better. I knew my dress wasn't just a pretty design, it was meant to say that my "flame has been put out."

They were very wrong.

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**How was it? I personally thought that it was kind of emotional, can you imagine watching yourself or someone you love die right before your eyes? Maybe it is a little conceited that I could feel emotional about something I wrote myself but maybe that means it will be emotional for you too :) So you know PLEASE REVIEW AND FAVORITE and all that! **

** I plan to start the next chapter soon, maybe tonight. I want to keep cranking out chapters, I know I probably won't get many viewers until I've completed the whole story and hopefully I can get it done before the 'Hunger Games fad ends' . Luckily there are 2 more movies to come out so maybe I have time lol. **

**I want to get the story out but for some reason school has made me so tired and now I've been trying to teach myself the piano. I know basics but I really want to get good. _Anyone got any advice?_ :)**


	5. Chapter 4

So I've had this on uploaded into for like the longest time and never put this up... no idea why :o I'll be honest, I doubt I'll finish this... I'm not as into Hunger Games as I was before. Maybe if I re-read the books or maybe when the next book comes out, it'll inspire me. I have no idea. So I sincerely apologize! You have no idea how much I wanted to finish this, I had good shit in mind too 8c But I just 'fell out' of my obsession ^^; Sorry!

Btw I have no idea if I read over this or if I only did spell check. So sorry about that too in advance!

Disclaimer: All characters not made by me belong to their respected creator

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I was lead down the hall and back onto the elevator. There were no handcuffs on me this time, just two peacekeepers gripping my arms as we went. They knew as well as I did that the shoes currently strapped to my feet would not allow for a very long chase, I'd probably fall face first within seconds, I've nearly done that already during the short walk. I just wasn't accustomed to heels anymore.

The last time I'd worn heels was 6 or 7 years ago to make a speech to the still healing Panem and that had been a real chore.

Every time I stumbled, the Peacekeepers would yank me up right roughly. By this point I've pretty much given up on walking and was being dragged along.

The Peacekeeper on my right smacked the button for the very top floor, 30. As we ascended I could feel my ears filling further with pressure but it was more of a nuisance than an actual pain.

I could feel the electricity in the air almost immediately, when the elevator doors flew open I was surprised to see that the floor had dark blue carpeting and dark red walled. This floor was full of life unlike the other 3 floors I'd seen. I hadn't seen a soul on any floor other than the people who were watching me, but now doors sat wide open while people ran from room to room hurriedly, preparing.

Preparing for what, was the question, but I'm sure I'll find out soon.

A woman in baggy dark purple pants and matching sweat shirt, was the first to spot me, she started the domino effect. The woman stopped mid-step, head whipping my way, eyes wide, and openly staring, her mouth agape. Almost every person in the hall stopped to stare. People who weren't in the hall, poked their heads out of open doors to stare. The silence that came so abruptly was deafening, only our foot steps could be heard.

It was probably one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life, which was really saying something.

Some glared, some looked utterly shocked, but most looked as if they hadn't expected me to show up. I had the feeling a few of them didn't even know I was actually still alive.

They made space for us to pass but they never stopped staring.

I was brought to a set of pure white double doors set at the very end of the wall. The sight of the doors gave me an ominous feeling as if some fire breathing dragon was behind that door, ready to burn me to a crisp the moment the doors opened.

The Peacekeepers did not pull out any sort of key as they would for the other doors. Instead, the Peacekeeper to my right reached out out and placed his thumb on what looked like a small glass dot embedded into the wall. A red light shot out and scanned over his finger, analyzing his finger print before giving a ding of a approval. The double doors slid sideways rather than upward.

The room itself was very plain in comparison to the fire breathing dragon I'd seen in my mind's eye. The room was dim but not to the point where you couldn't see, there was one area that was lit brightly by a spotlight, that's where I was to stand. They placed me directly under the lightly and I was eye to eye with a camera, in fact there were quite a few cameras all around me. I noted a tv directly beside the camera parallel to me, it was turned onto Panem national news, I watched Caesar's expressions as they changed on que to each report he was telling, his voice was muted but I needed something to do while I waited for further instructions.

I'm sure it seems like I should've been doing something constructive while I was seemingly free, no one keeping a particularly close eye on me at the moment, thinking of a plan to escape should've been on the top of the list of things that I should've been doing rather then staring blankly at the very purple host. I'm also sure that if my current situation was seen by others, they'd think they could've figured some way out, but no. I knew for a fact that any plan I put into action would be for naught. I have no clue where I am, how to get out, how to get back to Panem, how far away I was from Panem, I was wearing high heels and a not so flexible dress, cameras every where, and no way of contacting anyone for help. So, I didn't think. Just waited.

I knew my captor had entered the room almost immediately, I had no need or desire to look up. I could smell the all too familiar smell of roses...

The shiver that always accompanied the fear slid down my spine as I had expected it to. I just couldn't stand the smell of him, the sight of him, his voice... all of it made me remember things better left forgotten and brought fears of the future. But when I felt his hand touch my shoulder, and I knew it was his by the way the roses slid into my nostrils and suffocated me. His hand was surprisingly smooth, far smoother then my hunter's hands, but that didn't make it any less sickening to have it resting against my bare skin.

He grinned brightly at me as if I were an old friend of his, I didn't look directly at him but I could see him from the corner of my eye, he gave my shoulder what looked like a reassuring squeeze but was actually a tight grip that made me grit my teeth in pain. He continued smiling even though there was no one he needed to pretend for "Well miss, how did you like the little video we played last week, I've been meaning to ask but you know busy busy busy" he said, grin still plastered on his face. He didn't even wait for an answer "well you know, it went quite well really. Most of Panem has been utterly baffled and confused by what your 'demise.' Been complete chaos over there." he said, expression showing sympathy, all fake of course.

"Did you find my decoy handsome? I was hoping to find someone a bit more good looking, but just in case we are found, why waste the good looks?" he said with a smirk that made my skin crawl, I wanted to tell him how much of a coward he was for not even being willing to show his face to the rebels, at least Snow didn't hide behind some puppet while he pulled the strings in the background.

"I suppose it doesn't really matter to you, now does it. Onward and forward I always say. Now, we will be going live in just a few moments and all you will have to do is stand there and read from a speech I have here." he said pulling out a 2 pieces of paper, he went to hand them to me then stopped midway "You can... read, can't you?" he asked, raising a brow. The comment actually stung quite a bit, my response was to openly scowl at him. He chuckled and handed the pages to me.

I didn't look down to memorize the words on the sheets of paper when my captor finally left me. I was now staring at my shoes, running my eyes over each detail, but not really registering what I was looking at.

Finally a man that wasn't manning a camera but appeared to be in charge started counting down, I watched Caesar's face as he opened his mouth to move on to something new to talk about but his screen was cut off. They didn't cut immediately to me, instead they showed another video that had probably been edited a few days before. The orange haired decoy appeared in a flash of flames, his fear inducing grin taking up quite a bit of the screen. He opened his mouth and began to speak.

"Citizens of Panem, it is a pleasure to see you all again. I've been hearing that our little video has caused quite the panic in your fair country. Mourning for your dear sweet mockingjay. But I do think I have some news that might just wipe that frown right off your face!" he exclaimed, grin never leaving him. I wondered if his face was just stuck like that or maybe even surgically made to stay in a permanent grin.

A shock ran through me when I saw my own surprised face on the screen, looking very much alive and even healthy in comparison to what I'd looked like before, skinny and dying. I looked for some sort of guidance, someone to tell me what I'm suppose to do next. Ironically, I was looking for the very man that sickened me, for help. I realized the cameraman directly in front of me was pointing at the script, telling me what to do next.

An involuntary "oh" slipped from me. I looked down and began to read what they had written for me to say.

"Dear people of Panem, It might come as a surprise to you all to know I am in fact, alive and well."

I almost started talking in my mock Capital accent because of the cheesy way this was written.

"The people here have taken good care of me and Peeta as well."

I almost laughed.

"They have given us food and shelter and have kept me alive all this time.  
Your government is not to be trusted, they will not protect you as I have been protected or taken care of as I have been taken care of here."

I began to hesitate, wishing skimmed over this ahead of time.

"You must know that the rebellion was a mistake that must be punished, for all the innocents that died at the hands of your leaders.  
But soon you will find out just how unreliable they are.  
Until I am found they will-"

My voice died in my throat as I read over the last of the sentence, I looked up at the camera and at the corner of my eye I could see the horror written all over my face. Eyes wide and mouth opening and closing, unsure of what to do.

The camera man angrily gestured at the paper for me to continue. I forced myself to look back down at my paper, I opened my mouth but an odd croaking noise came out instead of words.

I swallowed and tried regaining my nerve.

"Until I am found, t...they will take 1 c...child between the ages of 8 and 18 every 3 days t...that I am not found..."

I could feel an icy chill, freezing my veins. This was the reason he had wanted to have a stand in. His plan was for them to try to find me and once they did, they would have no idea who the real master mind was.

I stared down at the last words unable to get them out and before I realized what I was doing I was screaming into the camera for everyone to run and hide their kids, but mid yell the butt of a gun rammed into my gut. I gagged and bent over, gripping my stomach, I nearly dropped to my knees but the Peacekeeper that had hit me grabbed me by the shoulders and straightened me up. I looked up into the camera, panted heavily and trying to ignored the pain in my stomach.

"Finish it" the Peacekeeper growled into my ear, I noticed from the corner of my eye that the camera man purposely moved the camera so that the Peacekeeper's head was not seen. "Say the line" the man said threateningly.

I looked directly into the camera, gaze locked with everyone in Panem.

"May the odds be ever in your favor."

I watched the screen switch from my bent over form and intense eyes to the once again stunned Caesar. I seemed to have an involuntary knack at breaking that purple man's composure.

Caesar wasn't the as he'd been when my 'death' video had come out, he was a bit more frazzled then normal but still able to speak. He put a hand to his ear, listening to a voice no one else could hear, he looked up into the camera looking very concerned "I have just gotten word that people are going into a panic. People scrambling to bar themselves into their homes and people being trampled. We were able to get word from Haymitch Abernathy, the head of Peeta Mellark -and apparently- Katniss Everdeen's search party" he said and turned in his chair to look at the screen behind him. The camera zoomed in until Haymitch's face took up the screen.

Haymitch was like Peeta and I, not having changed much over the past 8 years, but the alcohol abuse over the years did show in slightly haggard look. He looked even more exhausted then normal. I never thought I'd feel such a great amount of relief to rush through me at the sight of the infuriating man's face. I almost smiled at the sight of a familiar face, but the pain in my stomach prevented anything other than a grimace.

Haymitch spoke into a small mic that was being held out to him, I couldn't quite place where he was at but I guess that didn't really matter in the first place. "Our search party is working hard to find Katniss and Peeta. We haven't stopped even after the video had been shown last week. We urge people not to panic. We are already setting up shelters where families can stay for protection and 'round the clock security for those who stay in their own homes." he said in a mature way that he could only show in front of a camera. Haymitch looked right into the camera, right into my eyes. "I'm coming for you sweetheart" he said with a smirk that I knew was for me. I actually felt a smile tug at my lips at the sound of the hated nickname.

I felt a firm whack to the back of the head and I was unable to see the rest of the broadcast, everything went black.

My first thoughts as I began to regain consciousness was of my make up crew, oddly enough.

I'm sure they were upset to see their hard work being shown for such a short amount of time. Even I couldn't help feeling just a little annoyed that I went through all that pain only to be on camera for a few seconds.

I'm beginning to wonder if all the drugs and abuse have actually started giving me brain damage... My thoughts regarding the situation, even I knew, were not normal.

I felt a throbbing pain in my head which just added to my fear of brain damage. The first thing I noted before opening my eyes was the fact that I was sitting in a chair with my hands tied behind it and my ankles strapped to the legs of the chair.

My eyes began to open slowly, my eyes caught sight of blue and I involuntarily let out a light airy laugh. They left me in my dress. I'm sure the make-up crew was going bananas over the dress most likely getting ruined pretty soon. Whom ever was in the room with me had apparently heard me and walked over to me. Roses.

A hand was placed under my chin and tilted my head up to look into my captor's eyes, I didn't look away now, only stared dully back. "Well, good to have our little sleepy head awake now" he said smiling in a sincere way. He released my chin and stepped back, my eyes finally took in the scene. A low hanging light hung over me, giving the room an errie look. I saw a blonde woman who must've been beautiful, but her beauty seemed scarred with age and a kind of tiredness that could never be cured with simple sleep. Her head was bowed, knuckles white as she gripped bundles of the fabric that made up the skirt of her expensive looking white dress. I stared at her silently, knowing my gaze was making her uncomfortable.

My captor took no notice and began to speak once again. "now where are my manners! You've been her for a week and I still haven't introduced myself! Well, this here-" he placed his hands on the woman's thin shoulders "-is my wife Akila. Means beautiful you know" he said rather proudly. "And I, my dear, am Robert Snow."

I barely even heard what this man was talking about, I tucked their names somewhere in a file in my mind, but I wasn't particularly surprised about him being Snow's son. He'd basically been shoving it in my face the entire time I've been here. I was watching his wife, blocking out his planned out speech for me. Maybe I should have listened, he seemed like one of those "tell my whole plan in a melodramatic speech" kind of a guy. But I didn't listen. His wife... she didn't seem "stable."

I openly stared her down and began tapping my foot slowly, counting to 5 in my head before letting my foot smack the ground once again. It was light but it echoed in an uncomfortable way. I shortened the count to 4... then 3... 2... 1. I don't know what made me do it.

She finally snapped. Her head shot up, teeth bared and hair fluffing in a way that made her look like a hissing cat. She stormed right up to me and punched me square in the face as hard as she could, causing my head to whip to the side, I could taste blood. I cut the inside of my cheek with my teeth I concluded and spit the blood out onto the concrete floor. Who knew such a small woman could pack such a punch.

I just looked up at her, not showing any sign of pain. I felt a chuckle slip from my throat before I could stop it. This absolutely infuriated her. She balled up her fists and stomped her foot in a childish way and yelled "what is so god damn funny!"

I looked at her, small smile still on my face "I'm imagining what my make up teem look like right now to know their hard work has gone to waste" I explained a small laugh still in my voice. I noticed Robert giving me an odd look and heard him mutter "brain damage maybe" to his wife and I nearly busted out laughing from the way the man had so easily read my mind.

I received another rough blow to the face, once again spitting out blood.I looked up at her, smile completely wiped from my face now. She looked mad, In more than one sense of the word. She roughly kicked my chair over, eliciting a cry of pain from me. The chair fell back roughly, causing all of my weight to land directly onto my arms and my already bruised and possibly cracked or broken ribs began to throb painfully. I got the distinct feeling that something would broken by the end of this "session."

Before I even had the time to mentally prepare myself for the pain that was to ensue, the tip of a shoe roughly kicked me in the side, causing the chair and I to land on our left sides. I grunted in pain. I then felt the very same foot land a blow directly into my chest and all the wind in my lungs left me. I gagged lightly and coughed, trying to regain what I had lost. I took in deep wheezing breathes and peeked through hazy eyes up at my abuser, she looked down at me hatefully and snapped her fingers.

I could feel the blood drain from my face as they dragged in a cart.

A cart filled with different torture devices, nothing too spectacular. Knives and I think I saw a whip but it was enough to send me into a spasm. Kicking and thrashing away like a trapped animal. She took a knife into her hand and I eventually ran out of energy and just laid there, panting and wide eyed with terror. It begins.

Was I there 5 minutes, 50, 2 hours? I couldn't tell, time seemed to go slower than it ever has and somewhere in my mind I think I wondered if time had actually slowed and even something about aliens crossed my mind. I tried to force the pain away, I really did. Tried to blank my mind and hope it would stop eventually and that she wouldn't kill me.

If I really believed she was planning to kill me, I would've come up with an escape plan. But I didn't. I could tell they wanted to me alive still, plus I don't think this woman had quite the stomach for it, no matter how much she hated me.

The pain was bad, yes. But once it was over, I knew I was lucky that I hadn't actually lost any appendages. She had the tools for it, that was for sure. Again though, I don't think they wanted her to go that far and she wouldn't have the stomach for something so gruesome either. That doesn't mean she didn't cut where she could.

She gave me an experimental paper cut on my arm which made me grit my teeth, I thought she was going to be sick at first. This was most likely the first time she'd ever drew any blood from another human being, or any living thing for that matter, on purpose. She soon got over that.

I had different random cuts on my arms and legs and she'd carved something into my face that I couldn't see but I knew was in a specific shape because of the time spent in making the lines straight. None of the wounds were deep enough for me to bleed out any time soon, I was more worried about what couldn't be seen. Ribs that could be puncturing organs or the toes of a foot that might have hit my kidneys just a little too hard.

There were tears leaking from my eyes that stung the wound of my left cheek and my blue dress was turning an odd purple color as the red mixed with the blue dye. My torturer stood over me, panting and a little green in the face. The blonde stood over me, knife clutched in hand as if to make another strike. I closed my eyes tightly thinking this would be the winning blow, that she'd just ignore orders and give me one last stab to the heart. Its true what they say about your life flashing before you eyes, I think I've relived my life far more than a normal person should.

I flinched when I heard a clatter, but no strike came. I peeked through my lids and stared at a knife laying only a foot away from me and Akila on her knees just a few inches away. She was shaking and sobbing. It really didn't suit her. If it wasn't for the fact that I'd just been tortured by said woman, I'd probably feel bad for her. But I didn't. That didn't mean I wasn't curious about her reasons for the tears. Maybe she finally realized what she was doing was wrong or maybe she was just shocked by what she had done. Probably the latter.

Foot steps were approaching me and I just realized that two peacekeepers had been in the room the entire time. They undid my binds, grabbed me under the arms -none too gently-, and dragged me away. I bit my bottom lip tightly, hoping the new pain would distract me from the rest of the pain currently wracking my body. I was placed up in a sitting position against a wall and felt the needle enter my arm. Only this time I welcomed the blackness.

The last thing I heard as I fell into my dreamless sleep was Akila screaming one name.

Natallia.

* * *

As I said, I'm so sorry. Hope you enjoyed anyway and I didn't totally waste your time. I had ideas, I really did, but the passion just seeped away so for now those ideas will just stay in a file in my noodle. :C


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